“The Opposite of Opposites Attract”

CHARLIE:
Whoa! You’ve gotta hold on a minute,
you’ve gotta gotta gotta hold tight.
Hold steady, you’ve gotta take a break,
‘cause this just can’t be right.
You’ve gotta slow down, gotta think about
the ideas with which you’re grappling.
‘Cause if she’s me, and if I’m her,
then how’s this even happening?

Yeah, it’s totally inappropriate.
It’d be so strange to see.
I’m pretty sure when they say “Know thyself,”
they don’t mean biblically!

But on the other hand, she’s cute.
On the other hand, she gets me.
No one’d know, we’re all alone,
so who cares if it’s messy?

It’s not how I imagined it,
not at all, in fact.
It’s the flat-out straight-up opposite
of opposites attract.
It’s a no-man’s land, it’s a new frontier.
But would it be that bad? Would it be that weird?
When I go back home, this’ll all disappear,
so what happens in another universe stays here!

Whoa, dude, you’ve gotta press pause,
you’ve gotta just go a bit slower.
You’ve gotta take a minute to think before
you totally fuck yourself over!
And that was a really poor choice of words
but the point of it still remains.
Don’t look at her, just look ahead,
‘cause this whole thing’s insane.

And it’s totally inappropriate,
it is totally mistaken.
They say to truly “see thyself,”
but I don’t think they mean naked!

But on the other hand, I like her.
On the other hand, she’s waiting.
No reason not to, I know I want to,
so why’m I hesitating?

It’s not how I imagined it,
not at all, in fact.
It’s the flat-out straight-up opposite
of opposites attract.
It’s a big event, it’s a hot premier,
the road is marked, and the path is clear.
I’ve had this condom in my wallet for a good four years,
so what happens in another universe stays here!

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